Suck It Up Buttercup! Day 2

Every person I’ve ever known has at one time or another made excuses to do things they don’t want to do. Last night, I worked a 12 hour shift.  Tonight I’m working another 12 hour shift. If that’s not an excuse to skip a workout, then I don’t know what is!!!!  I mean, it’s just one 30 minute workout. I can double up this weekend. It won’t hurt anything right? WRONG. That voice in my head and those justifications are exactly why I’ve failed so many times before. To be perfectly honest, when I walked through my front door this morning, the only thing I wanted to do was have a beer and crash. But that doesn’t get me where I want to be. That attitude doesn’t help me achieve the goals that I have set for myself. 

So I did exactly what the title of this blog is. I sucked it up and did the damn thing!  Now, I feel great (god I love endorphins!!!!) and am so proud of myself. Also, a good hard workout has relieved my stress from work last night. I know that when I go back in tonight, I will be feeling relaxed and confident as a result of my workout. The only thing skipping it would have done is made me feel bad about it and spiraled me back into the bad habits that got me to this point. 

I did have a little extra motivation this morning though. Meet Frankie…my swolemate. He lifted right along with me through arm day!  He’s my ride or die!

Frankie doesn’t make excuses. Frankie doesn’t let something get in the way of what he wants. Frankie is a badass.   Be like Frankie. 

Also, I’ve seen some fit-spiration and vision boards that other people have created. I like the idea of having something that I can see to remind me of why I’m pushing myself. I have a 1 bedroom apartment and limited wall space so I created a little motivation corner in my bathroom….where I know I have to see it every single day. Let me just tell you…peeling off that sticky note when I have completed my workout is ridiculously satisfying!

I leave you with this today…. SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP!!!!!  Change your inner dialogue and do the damn thing!!!!!  NO EXCUSES. 

Pick your hard….

My name is Courtney, and this is they story of my journey to a happier, healthier life style. I’m writing this blog for myself….to see my progress and to see how my habits and thought processes change. But I do hope that someone out there gets something out of this as well. Maybe you can relate to my struggle. 

I’ve always been able to eat about anything I wanted and stay at a pretty comfortable weight. Well that was until about 5 years ago. At the time, I was a middle school teacher (yeah I know….I was out of my damn mind). I hated my job, which kinda resulted in me hating life in general since we all know that we spend most of our lives at work. As a result of the stress and discontentment that I felt, I started eating and drinking my feelings. Pretty much anything with lots of cheese that was fried and lots of wine was my daily routine. Lots of pizza and Mexican food. Lots of junk and chocolate to cope during the day. 

Eventually, I found the strength and courage to do why I really wanted, which was going back to nursing school. While I now consider this to be the best decision I’ve ever made, I had NO idea how hard it would be and how much it would impact my health and general well being. I was now teaching all day and going to class 2 nights a week and most weekends. And damn it was hard. Every spare second was spent studying and doing homework. I was so stressed out and exhausted that I was completely horrible to be around. My poor friends and family. I don’t know how they put up with me during this time. I was a raging bitch 24/7.  Once again, in order to cope I was drinking my way through ridiculous amounts of wine and eating whatever I wanted whether I was hungry or not. And because of my crazy schedule, that was mostly takeout and junk food. 

After graduation, then came my dream job as a labor and delivery nurse!  Needless to say, there is always food that a patient brought or a party for someone getting married or having a baby and always tons of food around. When you’re working 12 hour shifts, it’s very easy to eat more than you realize or justify that you earned it.   All of this together led to a 30 pound weight gain….which brings me to now. 

Like most people I know, I’ve started and stopped multiple fitness programs over the years. I did jazzercise for awhile, and it was fun, but let’s be real….I just don’t have time to drive the 20 miles it takes to get to a decent class near me plus the hour that the class takes. By the time I do all that, it takes 2 hours out of my day. And if I have 2 extra hours these days, I’m devoting it to sleep!  I also worked with a trainer for awhile. When I stuck to the program, I saw amazing results!  Like 11 lbs in a week!!!!!  But all I did was go to the gym and I couldn’t eat anything. That back fired pretty quickly. 

So what’s different this time?  This time I found something that fits into my life instead of taking it over.  I can suck it up and do a 30 minute workout….and the fact that I’m doing it in a sports bra and shorts in my living room with no one else around to see me helps.  This time, I know that this is a marathon and not a sprint. This time, I’m working towards a healthier overall lifestyle and not just dropping some weight. And this time, I have some pretty amazing people in my corner cheering me on and reminding me that I’m a badass and I can do this!!!!!!  I totally have to give some credit to my Beachbody Coach Ahdri Kent, who is always inspiring and always reminding me what I’m capable of, and my amazing man Patrick who is 100% supportive and always positive. When other people have confidence in you, it’s a game changer. 

This is hard for me since this is the heaviest I’ve ever been, but below I’m posting my day 1 pics from my 21 Day Fix….which is just the beginning for me. But I feel like blogging and posting these pics will help keep me accountable because hopefully there will be people out there following what I’m doing and looking to see what kind of progress I’m making!  So here goes…. 😖

So I leave you with these thoughts today. I’m doing this because I love my self, not because I hate myself. Its not about being “skinny”. It’s about being strong and healthy and the best me that I can be. And some days it’s going to be hard and I’m not going to feel like doing my workout when I get home from my 12 hour shift. But you know what else is hard?  Not being able to fit into my favorite jeans is hard. Not liking the way I look in clothes is hard. Not liking or recognizing what I see in the mirror is hard. So what it comes down to is this…..pick your hard.